Tuesday 24 July 2007


This is me performing in Borders bookshop in the Bullring. I was commissioned by Brook Avisory Service to write a poem to celebrate their anniversary and then perform it at a special event. I suffer with anxiety, depression and fibromyalgia, so performing is difficult, but I've managed to do it a few times. Anyway, below is the poem that I wrote for them.

You Don’t Know Where They’ve Been

Gary tells her he is okay,
he’s had a vasectomy
and he gives blood regularly,
so they can go bareback,
it feels more natural that way.
Laura obliges and opens up,
crying in the waiting room later,
passing time, reading out-of-date
magazines and panicking
that she might be pregnant,
and her Dad is going to kill her.
Donna says she is okay,
she’s on the pill and it’s been
a long time since her last fuck,
she’s not infected with anything
but lust for you, Bay-bee.
Ben can’t believe his luck
he’s fancied her for ages,
he can’t think of safety while
the slippery walls of her cave
are sucking him into oblivion.
Simon and Mark are okay,
they say, only mates,
having a laugh that night,
a bit drunk, it’s not like
they did anything wrong,
Right?
Of course they’re not gay,
lady killers, the pair of them,
on the pull tonight to prove it,
dance with a pair of right goers,
then give them false numbers.
Johnny is lonely, he used to
be one of a pack, now he lies
forgotten,
past his sell-by-date,
in a dusty bathroom cabinet.
He always wanted to be
a superhero, to slay chlamydia
and fight the advancing hordes
of gonorrhoea and herpes.
But he could only watch,
a mute witness to the reckless
mingling of bodily fluids, and cower
when he saw HIV stalking its prey,
powerless to save those who
would not accept his protection.
Gary
Laura
Donna
Ben
Simon
Mark
R.I.P
Clare

4 comments:

emma said...

that's powerful stuff Clare. It must be really nerve racking to perform your own work in public. Full of admiration that you do it.

klahanie said...

Hi Clare-
Let me commend you on your bravery. I do understand how daunting it can be. Like you, I challenge my fears. I refuse to let my 'symptoms' dominate my life.
A recent event almost overwhelmed me. The anxiety I confronted has made me experience a very ill sensation. I work through this. That is most positive.
So a huge 'pat on the back' to you Clare. I know that you give yourself permission to be positive. You do not let your anxiety and depression control your life. You use the 'therapy' of writing to express to the world your validity. You have my admiration.
Thank you Clare for being a part of our mindbloggling community. The positive interaction is vital to all of us.
Thank you for commenting on my most recent blog. So much for 'Damsel in distress'..more like 'Dude in distress'..:-)
Warm wishes Gary. ( a dude challenging his inner-critic)

tone the blueshawk said...

I wish I'd been there to hear it - a fine poem about an almost impossibly difficult subject - no moon in joon, and not a daffodil in sight. Thanks - I hope the writing and readings keep on coming - Tone

Domenica said...

Hi Clare,

Well done in facing, and transforming your fears. It takes a great deal of courage to perform in public...and you did it! Congratulations!!....D x